How is it that some who are on the fast lane of life sometimes end up tragically?
Our case studies are taken from the lives of Miss Cheslie Kryst, Mike Tyson and Steve Jobs.
CASE STUDY 1: Ms Cheslie Kryst
The sudden exit of the ex-Miss USA, ex-Miss North Carolina, Ms Cheslie Kryst; a reporter, former Attorney and an MBA holder from Wake Forest University, who committed suicide by jumping from a 29-storey New York City apartment at 6am on Sunday 30th January 2022 at age 30, is making Psychologists globally to rethink the twin-issue of mega-success vs depression.
Cheslie's mother confirmed that her award-winning, high-flier daughter was suffering from High Functioning Depression which she hid from everyone.
High Functioning Depression describes those living with mental illness that most people don't detect because they are functioning optimally but nonetheless remain depressed.
The four major symptoms are:
(1) People who have the tendency to compare themselves to others
(2) Inability to relax, enjoy and smell the roses
(3) Constantly worrying about what the future holds in store for them
(4) Those with racing thoughts and powerlessness to turn off.
On the other hand, Phycologists have identified 4 Happiness Hormones:
(1) Dopamine
(2) Serotonin
(3) Oxytocin
(4) Endorphins
The four hormones lead to the feeling of well-being, promote positive feedback, feeling of significance, happiness, relevance, usefulness, self-esteem and even love.
The question is how does one unlock or hack the happiness hormones?
CASE STUDY 2: MIKE TYSON
On November 22 1986, 20-year, 4-month, 22 days old Mike Tyson knocked out 33-year old Trevor Berbick in just 5 minutes 35 seconds, to emerge the youngest titleholder ever in history. Victorious Tyson shouted triumphantly: I am the youngest heavyweight Boxing Champion in history, and I'm going to be the oldest.
At his peak, before cocaine and other sundry hard drugs hijacked him which compounded his excessive aggressive, animalistic behaviour and lack of self-control, Mike Tyson was regarded as the Baddest Man on Planet Earth.
However, after serving time in jail for rape and having gone bankrupt, while speaking candidly with journalist Bill Whitaker in 2011, Tyson dismissed all his belts and trophies as meaningless. He said, I am blessed with garbage and admitted that there was a mega void in his life despite his mega success. His conclusion was that he needed to reprioritize his life.
CASE STUDY 3: STEVE JOBS
Steve Jobs was an extraordinary genius in a different class. No other person of his generation accomplished as much as Steve did, financially and technologically speaking. Not Bill Gates. Not the Google Guys. Not Elon Musk. Not anyone. He was on the front cover of Time Magazine, the most prestigious magazine in the world not once, not twice but multiple times.
It was only Steve Jobs who competed in 5 distinct categories and industries, he dominated and excelled in all. None of his colleagues was able to spy on him successfully. For instance, Bill Gates only ruled one industry successfully: Software. Steve was a magician who overwhelmed the Music, Movie, Software, Hardware and Tourism industries and he won trophies in all the 5 categories.
He was the first man in history to build a Trillion dollars’ business empire. He accumulated so much raw cash for Apple before he died that was the envy of his industry colleagues.
Indeed, Steve Jobs, unarguably, was the Boss, the Leader, the Icon and the Don. Not many people in the technology space are as smart as the Google guys, nonetheless, the two extremely intelligent guys - Larry Page and Sergey Brin, invited Steve Jobs to serve on the Google Board despite the fact they were competitors in Operating System (OS). Steve Jobs was massive!
The Japanese Sony company cannot forget Steve Jobs in a hurry. It was Steve Jobs who retired Sony prematurely as the music leader! He gave Sony a knockout and till now, Sony is yet to recover.
But when one listens to Steve Jobs’ last sermon on his sickbed, you cannot but pause and reflect on his lamentations.
I ask: what type of game is the Game of Life?
Steve Job's memorable but melancholy final goodbye to the world:
“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In other's eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, apart from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At the moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all recognition that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life support machine and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of the god of death drawing closer. I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth, things more important: perhaps relationships, art or a dream from our younger days.
Non-stop pursuit of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being. Just like me.
God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone's heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.
The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me. What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by LOVE.
That's the true riches which will follow you, accompany you; giving you strength and light to go on.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure love for your family, love your spouse, love friends.
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.
God bless.”
When, Steve Jobs, the real GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) described money as an illusion and relationships as true wealth, then we can only say good luck to those pursuing money non-stop by all means, through fair and foul means, for they shall end up as twisted, frustrated and empty.
Sometimes, out of frustration, people conclude that life is not fair. Bad people prosper, good people suffer. Yes. But when one looks at the fact that, no matter how smart one is, nobody can have a perfect score in life. Nobody can score 100%. None of us will get out of this life alive. Nobody can fix his own exit date from this world. Then on those scores, life is fair to all.
10 HACKING TOOLS can be employed which can take a person to a state of unlimited happiness, significance and good feelings.
(1) HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
On paper, life can look excellent, until one begins to peel the layers of onion from the back and then it brings tears to the eyes. The hollowness and emptiness of the onion which is not visible at the back become real when one rips through inside the onion. Ditto life.
Enduring inner peace has little to do with things or the volume of life's toys acquired. But it has everything to do with the person one chooses to become.
Perfection is utopian, therefore, perfectionists are likely to commit suicide or die as frustrated people.
Happiness is being happy with who you are, right now, while aiming to be your best edition, i.e. 2.0. There is only one model of you.
Human beings, it seems, are created with the blockchain technology: not duplicable, not ‘copy-able’, we come to this world in a read-only format. But we all have different question papers in life, so our answers are totally different from one another. This is why it is futile judging others because you have no idea the type of questions they are battling with. Desist also from judging yourself.
If nothing you do is ever good enough, you are a candidate for depression and sorrow.
(2) ACCEPTANCE & FLOW
Thinking and complaining about things that are totally outside of one's control is a recipe for frustration which depletes energy and doubles sorrow. What can you do about the weather, climate crisis, being an African? Nothing! Accept and flow with what is outside of your control.
(3) LIVE IN THE MOMENT
Forgive your past however ugly. And if it was excellent, don't dwell on it too much. Don't take yourself too seriously because no one does.
Suspending living till tomorrow or hereafter smacks of spiritual poverty. Tomorrow may never come.
God in His wisdom created every life for a unique assignment in the world, which no other life can deliver. If your focus 100% is about heaven, you won't be able to deliver your assignment here on earth. There's is still one missing bolt and nut on planet earth which only you can fix.
Accept the past (that's what it is), dream of a beautiful future but don't forget to live in the NOW!
(4) POSITIVITY
Both optimists and pessimists are geniuses in accomplishing what they wish for. Optimism is about visualization: expect the best from life and you will usually have your wishes.
(5) SELF-BELIEF
Those who follow that silent, inner, little voice in their heart tend to live more fulfilling, happy lives than those who follow the crowd. The crowd has no permanent opinion, no permanent friend, no permanent values.
Social media has compounded the situation. Those who depend on what their followers say on social media to be happy are doomed.
That inner silent voice is the best friend and trusted CHAIRMAN of the YOU INC. Any life that is run the way a Corporate organization is run with dozens of Board members with equal voting rights will end up in sorrow.
Life is a one-man-Board Inc.! Intuition is the Chairman of the Board, you are the CEO.
(6 ) GRATITUDE
Gratitude begets happiness and longevity. Count your blessings daily before you complain.
Developing scarcity mentally will only create more of the same.
Nature has provided for all our needs; it is our unbridled sundry wants that bring complications to life.
Nonetheless, those who are grateful for what they have may also receive amen to their prayers for their life's long wish- list.
(7) SERVICE
True happiness flows from selfless sacrifices made for others. Environment blesses those who bless the environment. Nature does not owe anyone.
Those who are generous in their assessment of others and bless the environment with their time, energy, spirit and resources will have in return blessings money can't buy, which are more important than money-oriented blessings.
(8) RESILIENCE
Long-suffering, commitment and perseverance are critical happiness hacking tools.
Everything of value is tucked deep inside the earth deliberately by Nature. Gold, Diamond, Uranium, rare earth among others are neatly buried inside the womb of the earth. To access and possess it requires resilience.
(9) MEDITATION
Are you where you are meant to be? Those who stay in their lane in life have no competition. They will excel and be fulfilled.
There is no most beautiful girl in the world. There is no perfect hair. No perfect shape or nose or body or home. There is no perfect marriage.
You are not going to win the world's prettiest girl award. It is chasing after the wind.
There is no greatest man or the richest man in the world.
There is no smartest man in the world.
They are all subjective illusory marketing gimmicks designed by some smart marketers to swindle the unsuspecting public for commercial gains. Those titles are balms for ego massages. You are doomed and trapped if you unnecessarily pay the smart marketers for the balms with which they massage your ego.
Here's what brings depression to Mega achievers: the parochial mindset that If not me, then who, if not now, then when?
As Steve Jobs admonished, chasing those quarterly or yearly recognition to remain on the Forbes list of the richest people in the world is meaningless and tantamount to shadow-chasing.
The person whose happiness depends on seeing his picture on the cover page of TIME Magazine as part of the most Influential 100 people in the world is a sorrowful, pitiable soul suffering from mental illnesses which Madam Kryst described as High Functioning Depression
Most billionaires on the Forbes list and the silent billionaires that Forbes cannot capture due to the mystery surrounding their wealth are victims of High Functioning Performance because most of them become wealthy through either state capture or by brutally eliminating competition.
The tradeoff is happiness and good night sleep. They have to buy sleep expensively from their doctors, something that is supposed to be free.
Michael Jackson, another hyper achiever, was also a victim. Till he died, he paid his doctors daily to put him to sleep!
Only through deep meditation can one escape this mental illness afflicting most of the Success Models which the world showcases.
(10) AUDACITY
To be the best one requires doing the right thing, not the easy things.
To be bold when the road is smooth is a piece of cake. But when the going gets tough and rough, it takes audacity to follow your heart. To do the right thing for you even when it feels uncomfortable is a sine-qua-non for happiness
Except you can say 'no' to the things you don't want, it is impossible to say 'yes' to those things you truly desire.
Even in business, it is more difficult to know which business not to do than which business to do. Which is the number one reason why businesses fail: wrong investment, wrong acquisitions, wrong mergers.
CONCLUSION
From the examples of Ms Cheslie Kryst, Mike Tyson and Steve Jobs, one logical conclusion that recommends itself is that money, fame and power are not the true measures of success contrary to what the world wants us to believe.
I agree with Dominique Bertolucci completely when she submitted in her book that “True and enduring happiness is a state of being, not a state of having.”
In the game of life, what matters most is showing up, becoming the best you are created to be.
The young African leaders under mentorship should let go of the idea of winning by all means.
Only good success brings enduring happiness and drives away suicide tendencies.
You have only one shot in the game of life, unfortunately, Ms Cheslie Kryst (May her soul find peace and may God console the family she left behind) missed her penalty kick.
Be a proactive participant in the game of life, let go of the hyper-competition mentality and stay in your lane.
The sun that goes to bed in the West this evening will surely rise and shine for you in the East tomorrow morning when there's life.
Even though we are our own examiner, invigilator, supervisor and marker of our life answer sheet, nobody can score 100%.
We all have it in bits!
For instance, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk can buy the whole world in cash. Yet they failed some critical papers in their life examinations.
There's nothing like an award for life's most outstanding personality, unlike in conventional schools
And if there was someone who undeniably could have qualified to receive the award for LIFE'S BEST GRADUATING STUDENT at the point of her graduation to the Great Beyond, that award would have gone to a woman who deliberately chose to minister to the poorest of the world. By choice, she owned the least earthly possessions that fit into just one hand luggage.
Her name? Saint Mother Teresa, not Bill Gates and definitely not Elon Musk.
That's life!
No comments :
Post a Comment