By Nada Ali — When
entering or living in a committed relationship it is extremely important to
have this second part of the CHART series. Honesty is a definition or state of
being honest; probity; fairness and straightforwardness of conduct, speech,
etc; integrity; sincerity; truthfulness; freedom from fraud or guile. We look
for honest partners. Partners that we can trust to be truthful to us in words
and action. But before seeking out that honest partner, you must be that honest
partner. Honesty in relationships must begin within you. It must start at your
own core and being. Your ability to be honest with yourself, about who you are,
what you want, and why. It is easy to get swept away by romance, society’s
ideals, and outside pressure.
It’s easy and common to put aside your personal
preferences in those early stages of dating to set the right impression and not
scare off Mr. or Mrs. Right.
But
what good will it do you to make it through those first six months or even two
years when the hormones in your brain are on overdrive and things look rose
perfect even when the rose is drooping and the petals are falling off? Self
integrity in preparation for a real relationship says that you need to be who
you really are, and accept yourself for your strengths and flaws, before
expecting anyone else to. Even more, you must accept yourself and be honest
about yourself before you can expect that you will find someone who will be
honest with you. If you have found yourself feeling disillusioned, trapped, or
misunderstood after the initial stages of your romance, ask yourself if you’ve
been keeping back aspects of you are and simply not being yourself?
If
you think your personal level of honesty towards yourself isn’t where it should
be and that you may be sacrificing some of your wishes, interests, and
qualities to appear more desirable to your partner have a little ‘talk’ with
yourself to get to the heart of it. The same applies to couples who may be
married and find themselves disillusioned because they have grown over time,
but perhaps they don’t feel they have grown together. Growth and change in a
long-term relationship is natural. How we handle it can make or break your
relationship.
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